How to Win an Argument: 4 Tricks From Ancient Greece

It is frustrating when you can’t get through to someone.

A lot of the arguments I’ve had in the past have not ended the way I wanted them to end.

Sometimes, I felt the other person simply wasn’t getting it. Other times, I’d feel the blood rush to my face and my mind narrow. Tensions would rise and we’d clash – ending up further apart than when we started.

The worst thing was, that I didn’t intend either of these outcomes. In reality, I was searching for common ground.

When I started looking at how to get better at arguing my point, I found some answers in a strange place – somewhere 1,500 miles away, and 2,300 years in the past.

This article crosses that distance, distilling ancient wisdom to save you a great deal of time and energy.

Ancient Arguments and Smart Minds

Aristotle, Plato and Socrates before them all had a despised enemy. They hated a group of thinkers called the Sophists. Sophists were, in effect, the spin doctors of ancient Greece.

Sophists were employed to argue this way and that on behalf of the rich and powerful. Privileged children were sent to learn by their hand. They were guns for hire and would argue anything for the right price. They were history’s version of Pierce Morgan.

This was an insult to the ancient Greek philosophers. In fact, many of their most famous works are centred around destroying sophistry, pointing out how they used twisted logic and poor reasoning to come to their conclusions.

They had to do this because, despite their lack of thoroughness, the sophists were persuasive. The most famous could hold an audience in the palm of one hand and pour snake oil down their throats with the other.

Sadly sophists are a present danger. Most of us have worked with a few. We’ve maybe even fallen in love with one or two.

Why are they so persuasive? And, how can you win an argument against one?

The Art of Persuasion and Its 4 Pillars

The great thinkers used dialogues to perfect their craft – they would have public conversations and grind down their sophistic nemeses with arguments that are studied in Universities to this very day.

They found that great arguments need to have 4 things. Without any one of these elements, you can be outmanoeuvered and defeated:

• Logos
• Pathos
• Ethos
• Kairos

Knowing what each of these elements means and how to use them can help you maintain relationships while getting what you want.

What is Logos?

A persuasive argument must be built on logic. It has to present ideas in such a way that the audience sees your point of view as inescapable. This can be done overtly by simply telling them how it is. But often it’s much more effective when done through inference. This way the audience feels like they got there by themselves – like a mental IKEA effect (whereby your bit of flat-pack furniture always feels better than the identical piece in someone else’s house because you built your one).

This was important 2000 years ago, but it’s even more important now, as the world becomes more evidence-based and scientific in its reasoning.

It is the least emotional of the pillars which gives it great power. Using statistics and evidence creates a hard-hitting argument that is difficult for an unprepared opposition to counter.

An argument that makes good use of logos is universal – the facts ought to speak for themselves, regardless of your culture or creed. It also builds your credibility or ethos (which we’ll touch on shortly).

It’s important to deploy logos in a way that is clear for an audience. Overly technical analyses are a problem. Consider a jury witnessing a case and the barrister quotes technical fraud legislation. These people aren’t accountants, they might be taking a pay cut to be in the room. They’re not going to care for a crash course in finance. Some fraudsters rely on this.

It doesn’t matter if you have the most profoundly logical argument ever seen; if people are bored, or you can’t answer the “so what?” questions (known as pathos, which we’ll look at soon), you’re stuffed. It’s essential to keep it short and sweet. The evidence needs to be available but used sparingly and effectively throughout your discussion.

The biggest weakness of a logic-based argument: it’s cold. It doesn’t take people’s emotions into account. Being too logical can make you seem distant. It’s also really important you get your data right. The wrong data can derail you completely and destroy your credibility. In a heated debate, getting something wrong could end things.

How To Use Logos In Your Argument

• Use facts and figures that support your position and make sure they’re correct.
• Create a structure that flows so that each point builds from the last, making your conclusion irrefutable for anyone listening or reading.
• Keep to a few key themes throughout your argument – pick your battles and don’t get drawn off course – it’s much easier to be persuasive this way.
• Know your audience – use evidence and data that the audience can connect with, or at least understand without specialist knowledge. Naturally this changes depending on who you’re talking to. Arguments with specialists require more than arguing with laymen.

What Is Ethos?

The content of an argument is one thing. But who is making the argument? Ethos concerns itself with the speaker or writer. It answers the question “Can I trust this person?”.

Credibility, trustworthiness, expertise – these are all things that are very persuasive. We trust a doctor when he tells us something is wrong with us because they have years of medical training, credentials from institutions, and a white coat.

But it’s not just about someone’s experience, it’s also how they behave. Their tone, style, body language – all of this is ethos.

For example, we mentioned having the right data as part of logos. Your argument will fail if you do not present that data in the right way – with confidence and comprehension. But this confidence cannot stray into arrogance or condescension as this will alienate your audience. Imagine 3 doctors giving the same diagnosis. One berates you for becoming ill, another says you should probably do this but they don’t know. The last calmly explains your situation and the options. Who are we going to trust?

Background is essential here – this is why brands focus so much on fostering trust. Build your ethos by asking yourself – Is your position showing generosity and kindness to your audience? Is it coming from a good place? If the answer is “no” to either of these questions, ask whether you should be having the argument to begin with.

If people sense that you are arguing from a good place, they will take what you say on board.

Aligned with this is the idea of your moral character. If someone has lied to you before, you are much less likely to trust them this time. We’ve all dealt with someone selfish or sly, unethical – maybe even psychopathic. If we know this about them then it really doesn’t matter what comes out of their mouth. This can make it difficult for people to change the world’s perception of them – even if they have been genuinely rehabilitated.

Ethos is dangerous. It can be manipulative. People with ethos can inspire blind loyalty. Good liars can concoct ethos without having any genuine credibility to lean on. And through it, blind loyalty can lead people to very dark places.

How To Use Ethos In Your Argument

• Have integrity throughout your life, be that in your conversations or the content you produce. Ethos is reputational – a lifetime to build and seconds to destroy.
• Be honest – if you have made a mistake then own it and label it. If someone changes your mind then be open about that. It helps build trust.
• Demonstrate you care about the values of the person you’re speaking to and writing for. This alignment will help you harmonise with them, and bring them closer.
• Professionalism always. This doesn’t mean you must wear a suit and tie and sign off with “Kind regards”. But it does mean you should be the “best person in the room”, present your ideas eloquently and don’t condescend, berate or diminish the other side.

What Is Pathos?

At the beginning of this article, I started with a story about the times I had started an argument and got the exact opposite of what I wanted. I described what happened when I was losing control as the blood rushed to my face and I stopped thinking clearly.

This is pathos. It’s storytelling and emotional alignment designed to encourage the audience to feel how you feel and connect with you emotionally.

Logic and credibility without emotion are not persuasive. Good arguments rely on imagery and visualization to help the audience understand the gravity of what you’re discussing. A great example of this is the clicking of the fingers – every second a child dies in Africa. Who doesn’t remember that message? Who didn’t feel its power the first time they saw it?

It’s powerful because it captures the audience immediately. It’s often the start of what Joe Sugarman, a famous copywriter from the 1970s, calls “the slippery slide”. Seeding your argument or your content with pathos – devices that inspire pride, fear, joy, anxiety, anger, or hope – will all but guarantee that your audience continues to listen.

It’s memorable. It inspires action – the heart of the all-to-present CTA or call to action that dominates current marketing strategy.

However, its power makes it problematic. Emotions are fleeting, especially in a world where short-form content like reels is designed to send us through a kaleidoscope of emotions every 30 seconds. You need to use the emotion while it’s there or you’ll miss the opportunity forever.

It’s also subjective. I’ve often shared a piece of content I thought was great for someone else simply not to see the same thing in it that I did. In an argument, this can take you back a step rather than making progress.

Of all of the pillars, pathos is the one that’s abused most often. We make decisions emotionally. People who are good at inspiring wrath or disgust or lust or hope; they hold the keys to a blind spot that is very difficult for us to be rational about. That’s why it’s so important to use it in combination with the other pillars, with logic and ethics.

How To Use Pathos In Your Arguments

• Tell stories and make them personal. Life is random and as a result, creative. Using personal experiences brings authenticity which audiences will recognize and lean into.
• Make sure your language is evocative so that your audience is put into the right frame of mind to understand your point of view. Use imagery and bring the audience into the room with you.
• Inspire often and be negative sparingly. Both have power but negativity has done a lot more damage to brands, and indeed to the world, than inspiration. Consider the UK’s “The Sun” newspaper.

What Is Kairos?

I remember waking up for work. I had a meeting about numbers and I was behind that month. As you can imagine, I was not looking forward to it. But there was a silver lining.

Downstairs in my kitchen, a teabag was slowly steeping, a cup of hot and strengthening. I went to retrieve my one reprieve and just before I could take my first sip, my housemate came in, all guns blazing.

She had a point probably. I don’t remember through the white-hot rage that rushed over me. We did eventually resolve it – she had a fair gripe and once we’d hashed it out, I was happy to acquiesce. It was just bad timing.

Kairos refers to the appropriateness of your argument. That could reference your timing. But it could be other elements like your tone or the mood of the audience. Unlike the other pillars, using kairos effectively means that you, as a speaker or writer, must adapt to the context in the moment to ensure your points are impactful.

The timing of your argument is essential. If you position your point too early, it will miss the mark because people won’t see the impact of what you’re trying to say. It’s like advertising for Christmas in March.

If you’re too late, your audience will not engage – your point is tired or irrelevant. From an advertising perspective, it might mean you’re jumping into a saturated market and unable to cut through other content.

Likewise, using a causal tone for a serious topic is going to put your audience off. A formal tone if you’re talking to a partner will undoubtedly create more problems than it solves.

Using kairos in the right way will maximise the impact of your points as well as the engagement of your audience. If they feel the urgency of what you’re saying and you can nurture that urgency, the likelihood that they will respond well increases dramatically.

It’s the most delicate of the pillars. Getting it wrong can make you seem completely out of touch. This is exacerbated because often, you are not in control of why you’re arguing. External factors are at play all the time. You may have to argue your corner without any preparation whatsoever. Conversely, just because you think it’s the right time doesn’t mean that your audience will agree.

In sales, a significant part of the discovery process is based on timing. “Will this fix your problem? Do you have the budget to do this now? Have you got sponsorship? Are you able to sign or is it someone else?” All of these questions are designed to help the seller understand the appropriateness of their argument i.e. that you should buy my product, now.

How To Use Kairos In Your Arguments

• Ensure that what you say is appropriate for your audience. Individually, this means paying attention to your audience’s mental state. Are they having a bad day? Is this a good time to start a conversation?
• Research as much as you can. You might find that there is no reason to have the argument because the problem will resolve itself soon anyway. Your research may change your approach – your logos, ethos, and pathos – so that you’re using the right messages at the right time.
• React quickly. Striking while the iron is hot and being the first person to make a point can massively increase the impact of your argument and diminish the counterargument.

They Work Best Together

As you can probably see, using any one of these pillars in isolation doth butter no parsnips. They must be used together.

Consider this: a logically compelling argument about a topic you really care about explained by someone you trust completely, made at the point you are looking for answers. Few people will be able to refute that. Done correctly, few people would even want to try.

When crafting an argument, it’s important to seed all of these elements throughout the piece in a way that’s compelling, readable, and relevant.

Doing that will help you persuade time and time again.

A Note On Logical Fallacies

A logical fallacy is a trick of language or context that’s designed to undermine one of these pillars. It’s frighteningly common in conversation. It’s common because it works.

There are loads of examples of logical fallacies. They are cheap ways to get out of an argument and are very popular with Sophists.

The good news is that recognising them is the first major step to defeating them.

Click here for a deeper dive into logical fallacies.

But for now, here are some of the most common.

Ad Hominem

This strategy attacks the character of the person, rather than the argument itself. It undermines ethos, suggesting that the argument is void because of the status of the person making it.

E.g. “What does your mother know, she’s a terrible person.”

Counter: bring the focus back to the argument itself, don’t be afraid to restate your points to reduce the impact of the ad hominem attack.

E.g. “The issue is your behaviour, nothing more.”

Strawman

This is an attempt to redefine the argument and move away from the inescapable conclusion you are logically heading toward by misrepresenting your point. It’s an attack on logos.

E.g. “The only reason you’re saying that is because you want to have this cookie.”

Counter: walk back and clarify the original position to avoid any misrepresentation.

E.g. “No, I’m saying this because you have type 2 diabetes, and eating that cookie won’t help.”

Slippery Slope

A slippery slope (different from the “slippery slide” we looked at earlier) is a form of argument suggesting an extreme event will follow inevitably from the next step. It uses intense emotional imagery to appeal to pathos.

E.g. “If we open up our borders, the people coming in will eat our pets.”

Counter: look at each step then question and demonstrate that it doesn’t follow that step one will lead to this extreme example.

E.g. “There is no evidence that opening borders has any impact on the number of pets eaten, how have you come to this?”

False Dilemma

This is the classic either-or tactic. It removes any nuance from the argument, forcing a logical conclusion where one is not forthcoming.

E.g. “You’re either with us, or you’re against us.”

Counter: Explain the situation, ensuring that the nuance of the problem is fully understood by all parties.

E.g. “I agree with these elements of your argument, but I have questions about these other points I need clarified before I can be sure.”

Persuasion In Practice

So far, we’ve looked at the key pillars of argument, their importance and how they can be applied. But what happens when you’re actually in the moment? What if the stakes are higher than you anticipated?

In his book, Never Split the Difference, Chris Voss provides timeless advice for talking to people you might disagree with and soothe tensions to get the best possible outcome.

Be Calm

Voss recommends using a combination of calming tones (what he calls the “late night DJ voice”) and more assertive tones (such as downward voice inflections) to be assertive and calming during an argument.

How It Works

This appeals to pathos, by bringing the emotional level of the discussion down, and ethos by positioning you as a credible and authoritative figure.

Be A Mirror

We’ve seen how salespeople will use questions to understand more about their customers. Voss takes this further by suggesting that we mirror the last few words or key concepts of what our counterpart is saying with an upward inflection, like a question.

E.g.

Person 1: “Yeah well you know what he’s like when he’s out.”

You: “When he’s out?”

Person 1: “Yeah, you know he goes out and…”

How It Works

This does two things. It strengthens the emotional connection between the speakers (pathos) while also prompting the other person to add detail to their answers. This helps you judge the kairos, or appropriateness, of your next talking point.

Use Labels

Labeling your counterpart’s emotions as they come up, whether they seem angry or sad, anxious or distracted can add a feeling of understanding to your argument and introduce a pattern break that can slow the argument down.

E.g. “It feels like you’re quite worried about this.”

How It Works

By attaching a label to emotions, it crystallizes them, taking away some of the pent-up emotion. It can also be a reality check for the person you’re speaking to, especially if they are becoming very irate or snappy. This provides a boost in pathos by showing you understand how they’re feeling and touches on ethos as it shows goodwill i.e. that you’re actually listening.

Make An Accusation Audit

An accusation audit is a method of seeding your argument with the things the other person is likely to attack you with. You say them first in a way that’s compassionate and calm.

E.g. “I know that I’ve made a mistake which has caused you significant problems and has lost you money. I appreciate that this has damaged your faith in me.”

How It Works

By showing that you understand the problem (improving the logos of your own position), you immediately diffuse the emotion of the situation (pathos). It might make your counterpart reevaluate if it’s really a valid objection (logos). It does this while highlighting the empathy you have for their position (ethos).

These tools are modern examples of how to infuse your style with the 4 ancient pillars that Socrates pioneered, Plato perfected and Aristotle wrote a book about.

Never Split The Difference is a highly recommended read, it takes you through the evolution of FBI hostage negotiation tactics which (worryingly) are often applicable to everyday arguments, negotiations, and conversations.

Arguing With Google

Writing persuasive content requires the same 4 pillars as a spoken argument. It needs to have logos – a USP for example. It needs to be written by someone who knows what they’re talking about, ethos. It needs to catch your attention and keep it, pathos. Finally, it needs to be well-timed with a call to action, kairos.

As if to prove the point, Google has started to judge websites and their content using their own four pillars – EEAT

• Experience
• Expertise
• Authoritativeness
• Trustworthiness

While not the same, there are similarities between the list made 2500 years ago, and Google’s August 2024 update. Your content needs to come from a reputable author. It should be well-referenced with citations to support your claims. It needs to be useful to the reader, ideally from someone with first-hand experience of the topic. It needs to be trustworthy, in that it captures the attention of people so that they share it (the more reputable the sharer the better).

While not identical, it’s clear that having a good grasp of the art of persuasion will help boost good content and send great content into the stratosphere.

Copywriting Can Help

Mastering the persuasive arts through the emails you send to customers, the blogs you post on your site, or copy on your webpage will improve the performance of your business.

Subtle changes can make a huge difference – the change of a single word or sentiment doubling conversions.

I’m so confident in its power that I’m offering a rethink of something you’re working on absolutely free.

If you like it, there’s plenty more where that came from. If you don’t, it’s a risk-free way to test the market and potentially gain a new perspective on your products and services.

Add some ideas to the form below to get started!

References

Stanford Encylopedia of Philosophy https://plato.stanford.edu/entries/aristotle-rhetoric

Plato. Protagoras and Meno. Translated by W.K.C. Guthrie. London: Penguin Classics, 1956.

Aristotle. The Art of Rhetoric. Translated by H.C. Lawson-Tancred. London: Penguin Classics, 1991.

Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It. By Chris Voss. New York: Harper Business, 2016.